THE HOARDING HOUSE — Where has all the toilet paper gone?
Why did we all communally decide purchasing paper products requires waking up at 8 a.m. and rushing to the grocery like it’s Black Friday, possibly fighting another customer to the death in the process? I might need a mega-thick roll to stem my bleeding at this rate.
The Charmin seems to be flying off the shelves as if everyone were preparing for 100 years of a Game of Porcelain Thrones… but won’t you all run out of milk and eggs in a week or two anyway? How are you using that much toilet paper so quickly? I have questions and concerns!
Or at least, I did, until YouTuber Kaplamino made everything click into place: I get it now, you’re all hoarding toilet paper to make automatic hand sanitizer dispensers.
If you missed your tutorial on this essential process like I did, please watch this video and consider yourself enlightened.
I’m sure all the engineers in quarantine have already completed their devices and are looking for upgrades. The rest of us, on the other hand… well, we have time to keep working on ours, right?
And before there’s too much hate for this impressive array of paper, Kaplamino clarifies in the video description, “I took the packs one by one every day and there was plenty of it in the store, no shortage because of me.”
I would like to know where they live, so I can safely replenish my stash without wading into war for it. I want to fight the virus, not other grocery store customers!
And if you’re not using your toilet paper for super essential health care purposes like automatic sanitization, what are you using it for?
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Katie Workman
