I pretend to be a queen on weekends, and here’s why

I spend six weekends a year pretending to be someone else.

In my ‘other life’, I am a queen: I’ve presided over trials and negotiated treaties and been involved in magic rituals. I have wept real tears at the fireside over a fallen warrior and experienced genuine shivers of heady terror as I’ve rushed through forests, pursued by a monster.

I’m not an actress, and I don’t have delusions of grandeur. I’m talking about my hobby as a larper – that’s Live Action Role Player.

For the uninitiated: live action role play (larp) is improvised play-acting for grown-ups. In essence, a group of people get together, often for days at a time, everyone assumes the role of a fantasy character and acts out their story.

The game organisers give players dilemmas, moral quandaries and even monsters to respond to and we play in mock ups of genuine villages. I still remember arriving at my first game 10 years ago and wandering between meticulously realised camps complete with historical cooking set ups and hand-embroidered banners and candlelit tents.

I am aware that this is commonly considered a reasonably quirky way for a 30 something professional to spend her time. It can feel strange at first; everyone around you is dressed up, immersed in their role and intent on playing their character, so it quickly becomes normal for you too.

It was a friend who first convinced me to give larp a try, but the truth is I’ve always been fascinated by these parallel universes.

I’ve been obsessed with Arthurian legends and fairy tales for as long as I can remember and as a teenager I devoured the Lord of the Rings books. Why wouldn’t I want to experience the closest thing possible to actually living within them?

For me it’s the ultimate vicarious pleasure. Assuming my character allows me to experience things that are very different from my daily life.

Whatever stresses I bring with me are pretty much instantly forgotten as soon as I step into role because Esme, my character, isn’t thinking about work or finances or her tax return.

She’s more likely to be focussed on political wranglings or evil armour or attacks by un-dead knights. I’ve even found larp an effective break when I’ve struggled with severe anxiety in the past. It gets you out of your own head and stops the endless cycle of ‘what if..?’ thoughts dead.

It’s not just about escapism though. Larp is a safe space in which you can become more courageous or more confident, or more open – I know larpers who are better at public speaking in their day jobs after years of practice giving rousing battlefield pep talks, and others who have cried over in-game deaths in a way they haven’t felt able to with real life bereavements, processing their grief at a level removed.

I know that I’m braver in real life as a direct result of ‘pretending’ to be brave at larp. I’ve also ended up mixing with a far wider variety of people than I suspect I ever would have otherwise.

It’s a shame that larping has something of a PR problem, assumed to be the sole domain of sweaty, single men who still live with their parents, because it is anything but.

To indulge in larp’s collaborative storytelling you need imagination and a willingness to talk to people, which means that it’s actually an intensely social hobby with a diverse range of followers.

Some of my very best friends now are people I’ve met through the hobby, and this includes my husband.

He first made my heart beat faster dressed as a knight in shining armour. But when the game ends each day (usually in the early hours of the morning!) there’s a chance to get to know the real people behind the characters you’ve interacted with.

Larp remains a hugely important part of both our lives and I think sharing a hobby like this makes our relationship stronger. It definitely gives us something interesting to talk about over dinner.

The success of shows like Game of Thrones demonstrates that the draw of these fantasy worlds is actually far more mainstream than people assume. And ultimately I think it’s the social aspects that have kept me hooked on the game for so long.