The original Game of Thrones pilot is infamous. Made in 2009, the one episode that fans will never see is reportedly a disaster, with unclear storylines and characters that just didn’t work. After heavy reshoots, the show went on to become a worldwide phenomenon, but only after it left a lot of that original pilot behind.

That included Tamzin Merchant, the British actress who played Daenerys Targaryen before Emilia Clarke was brought in. Speaking in Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series, then-HBO executive Michael Lombardo talked about why the role was recast. “There was a piece of casting we had to rethink, [a role] that was compromised. We all knew Daenerys’ journey was critical. Her scenes with Jason just didn’t work.”

Merchant, then 21, went on to a career that includes roles in WGN’s Salem, the CW’s Supergirl and Amazon’s Carnival Row. She’s never really talked much about her Game of Thrones experience, but opened up to Entertainment Weekly’s James Hibberd.

Tamzin Merchant explains what happened during her time on Game of Thrones

“Shooting that pilot was a really great lesson,” Merchant said. “It was an affirmation about listening to my instincts and following them, because I tried to back out of that situation and, during the contract process, I did back out. I was talked back into it by some persuasive people. Then I found myself naked and afraid in Morocco and riding a horse that was clearly much more excited to be there than I was.”

Merchant is referring there to the pilot’s sex scene with Khal Drogo, which in the original episode is played more like a seduction, as it is in the books. According to Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon, the scene was interrupted because one of the horses in the background had a distracting erection.

And it sounds like that was just one of many signs that this wasn’t going to work for Merchant. “It was a lesson that if my guts are telling me a story isn’t something I’m excited to tell, then I shouldn’t try to be excited just because other people are telling me that I should be excited,” she continued. “I didn’t have any training as an actor, I only have my instincts. And what excites me and what drives me is a compelling story and a compelling character. So for me, Game of Thrones was never that. I think it’s a testament to Emilia Clarke for making that role iconic — she was obviously excited to tell that story, and she was epic and excellent. But for me, it wasn’t in my heart to tell it.”

And so it was that Merchant went about her life while Game of Thrones grew into the biggest show of the last decade. “It was kind of funny riding to auditions on buses with Emilia Clarke’s face on it,” Merchant remembered. “Like, ‘oh my mode of transport is quite interesting today!’ It’s been a thing I felt like I watched unfold and it’s been fantastic for the film industry in Northern Ireland and Croatia, and that has been really great.”

In addition to her TV and film work, Merchant is about to release a young adult fantasy novel, The Hatmakers.

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