May we have your attention, please. It is with a heavy heart that I must make the following announcement: Today, November 23, 2018 — a day dubbed as Black Friday — will forever be remembered in infamy, as the day we learned the talented young thespian who has so expertly portrayed Jon Snow on Game of Thrones since 2011 — Kit Harington — has finally cut his contractually obligated, long and luxuriously curly locks.
We will never see its like again.
News of this most tragic event found its way to us via Twitter user Jonerys Targaryens, who shared the photo of Harington sporting his new hairdo and mustache, forcing many of us into instant manic states of depression, wherein we curled up into the fetal position and began to cry uncontrollably. Prepare yourselves, for this is what the vast and cold emptiness of abandonment looks like:
And there you have it. Kit Harington has apparently given up a lucrative and successful career in acting, to become a Hipster Artisinal Mushroom Farmer. That can be the only reasonable explanation for why the actor would destroy something so beautiful and lovely, as his flowing mane.
In all seriousness, Game of Thrones fans knew this day would come…eventually. Harington revealed earlier this year that he was keeping his glorious tresses long and ready for action, should he be called in for reshoots of some parts of season 8, the show’s final season. Then, only a month later, he was filmed wishing the late British playwright Harold Pinter a happy birthday, and he was missing his now signature Jon Snow scruffy beard.
The sight of Kit Harington’s face, pink and baby smooth, should have served as a warning that the end was nigh — yet we chose to ignore the signs, hoping reshoots would keep Harington’s curly coiffure long and flowing. We were naive.
So now, with his new spiffy hairdo and pornstar mustache, Harington has finally said goodbye to the persona who was once called the Bastard of Winterfell and who was mocked by his brothers in the Night’s Watch with the nickname of “Lord Snow.” During all of this, his hair remained glorious.
Harington’s wavey locks may have seemed unkempt, but I can assure you there was no other man, woman or child alive in all of Westeros who took better care of their hair than Jon Snow. It was with him, freely flowing in the cold northern air beyond the Wall, as he infiltrated Mance Rayder’s wildling army at the behest of the legendary Qhorin Halfhand.
Later, when the wildlings began to suspect he was going to betray their plans at the first chance he got, it was his seductive and silken strands that helped the wildling Ygritte drop her suspicions toward him, as he made her believe that he literally knew nothing…like, all the time.
As the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, Jon and his lusciously lavish locks traveled to Hardhome to rescue thousands of wildlings who had gathered there after being defeated by Stannis Baratheon’s army.
Jon’s hair flowed freely then, as he came face to face with the Night King and his nefarious lieutenants, the White Walkers. With a mighty swing of his Valyrian steel sword, Longclaw, Jon became the second man in known modern history to actually have killed a White Walker (Samwell Tarley was the first kill a White Walker. He did it with an obsidian dagger he found at the Fist of the First Men, and earned the moniker of Same the Slayer, and Meera Reed became the third human to kill an Other, when she threw an obsidian spear into the chest of the monster, causing him to shatter into a million pieces). Jon repeated the feat in episode 706, “Beyond the Wall,” and learned that by killing a Walker, one also destroys the many wights it controls.
Jon’s hair remained unbound, unkempt, and unbroken until his brothers in the Night’s Watch — led by the coward Aliser Thorne and the sniveling little steward, Olly — turned their cloaks and murdered their Lord Commander. As he lay dying in the snow-covered training yard of Castle Black, Jon was not alone, for the strands in his hair cradled his head like a newborn babe, exuding calmness, acceptance, and bravery, as he stared into the cold face of darkness, nothingness and the total oblivion of death.
The traitors would not have the last word on the legendary story of Jon Snow, however, as the Lord of Light, R’hllor saw fit to give the gift of new life to him, and he was brought back to life by the sorceress Melisandre.
With his most trusted friends and advisors surrounding him, Jon no longer needed to rely on his magnificent mane to help him navigate the dangerous waters of leadership in the Night’s Watch, and his last act as Lord Commander was to execute those dastardly traitors who so savagely killed him in cold blood.
With his death, Jon’s vow to the Night’s Watch was ended, and he gave command of the ancient order to his close friend Eddison Tollett, then turned his glorious head of hair toward Winterfell, where Ramsay Bolton held sway, claiming the title of Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North. Jon’s half-sister Sansa found her way, at last, to Castle Black, and the welcoming embrace of her bastard brother Jon.
As she fell into his arms, Sansa buried her face into his hair and took a deep breath, breathing in and absorbing scents that I can only imagine were the most intoxicating smells any human has ever had the pleasure…nay… the honor to inhale.
Emboldened by the return of Sansa Stark to the North, and having found the death loophole in his vows to the Night’s Watch, Jon pulled his hair back into a manbun, knowing that the Lords of the North would respect his totally cool and trendsetting choice of hairstyle. The bun intimidated his enemies, with Jon never having to say a word. One look at his god-touched mane and Jon’s opponents fled from him in terror…or so we imagine.
Anyway, with his hair in a bun, Jon fought and defeated Ramsay Bolton, beating him to a bloody pulp, and once again proclaiming that House Stark held sway in the North. The Bolton banners fell to the ground, replaced with the direwolf of the Starks. Jon, completely covered in blood, mud, and gore, calmly told his men to take his slain brother Rickon to the crypts below Winterfell, to lie next to the bones of the only man he knew to be his father — Lord Eddard Stark.
It was Ned, the man who raised Jon as his own son, that held an earth-shattering secret about his true parentage: Jon was not a bastard son of some one-night stand with a whore or typical camp follower as he was led to believe. No, his father was Rhaegar Targaryen — the Prince of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne of Westeros — and without knowing it, his head of hair shown proudly to match his father Rhaegar’s style, as well as that of the man who raised him, Lord Eddard Stark, who as it turns out, is Jon’s uncle, for his mother was Ned’s beloved sister, Lyanna Stark.
Lyanna and Rhaegar were secretly married, and Bran — as the Three-Eyed Raven — had a front row seat to it all, including the moment Lyanna, made Ned promise to keep her newborn son safe…and that the child’s name was Aegon Targaryen. In order to keep the child safe from the unbridled wrath of the soon-to-be-crowned King Robert Baratheon, Ned simply called him Jon, in honor of his mentor, the Lord of the Vale, Jon Arryn.
his life-long secret — kept by the honorable and stalwart Ned Stark — would be that he was a trueborn heir to the Iron Throne, with a claim stronger than anyone in Westeros, including the Usurper, and the would-be queens, Cersei Lannister and his lover-aunt, Daenerys Targaryen.
Will Jon and Daenerys decide to rule the Seven Kingdoms like their ancestor’s Aegon the Conqueror and his sister-wives Visenya and Rhaenys? We will have to wait until April of 2019 to find out. But for now, we mourn. We mourn the loss of something majestic and storied for seven…going on eight seasons of the best show in the history of television.
Game of Thrones and Kit Harington’s hair ushered in the true Golden Age of television, forcing HBO’s competitors to try and copy its model for success and spending exuberant amounts of money on medieval fantasy dramas of their own.
Kit Harington gave us #HairWatch between seasons 5 and 6, and since then we have never taken our eyes off of his flowing curls. But now, we will never have that chance again. Rest in Piece, you majestic and fabulous follicles, you deserved a better fate than being shorn and simply swept away like the other discarded refuse of whatever salon Harington used to get a new hairdo, and in doing so breaking the hearts of the millions of fans…of his hair.
And now, our Hairwatch is ended.
To stay up to date on everything Game of Thrones, follow our all-encompassing Facebook page and sign up for our exclusive newsletter.
Watch Game of Thrones for FREE with a no-risk, 7-day free trial of Amazon Channels
