Who needs Westeros when you’ve got wags? Game of Thrones fans have been understandably in a bit of a funk since their favourite swords ’n’ skulduggery saga petered out with the mother of all bum notes this year. But if Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen ultimately dropped the ball, one semi-mythological figure has lived up to her billing: Coleen Rooney. 

As you will know if you have been communing with the lord of light (ie browsing Instagram), Wayne Rooney’s other half has just pulled off biggest switch and bait since Tyrion Lannister hoodwinked Grand Maester Pycelle. What’s more she has employed precisely the same mixture of cunning, courage and steely resolve that we have come to associate with…

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