As Tyrion and Jon made for the Wall in the season 1 episode “The Kingsroad,” Tyrion dispenses some advice to the young bastard.
“A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.”
Its one of Tyrion’s seminal lines, and alludes to his realization that his mind and his wit, are his primary weapons in the game of thrones. But could Tyrion one day lose his biggest asset? A new theory from Alt Shift X supposes Tyrion’s wit might lead to the loss of his tongue. Gross.
Alt Shift X notes that despite Tyrion having some of the best lines throughout the series, Tyrion’s words land him in trouble as often is they rescue him. And while there are only a few notable examples of characters losing their tongues on the show (Ilyn Payne, Marillion the singer), the novels by George R.R. Martin have far more examples. So there is precedent. Anyone wishing to punish Tyrion or take revenge upon him, could do no better than to take Tyrion’s tongue.
The list of characters threatening to cut out Tyrion’s tongue is long, especially so in the novels. Everyone from Joffrey to Jorah makes the threat, and even Tyrion himself jokes to Oberyn Martell in A Dance With Dragons that Tyrion should cut it out himself for all the trouble it has caused him. Who might actual make good on the threat, is a much shorter list. Cersei ranks at the top of the list due to her long standing hatred of Tyrion. Other characters such as Varys (keeping a secret) or Euron (just because), could also do the deed.
Whoever does the deed, Alt Shift X makes the point that the Lannister siblings have a history of losing what’s most important to them. Jamie loses his sword hand, and Cersei has her beauty and status literally stripped from her by the High Sparrow’s walk of atonement. Tyrion losing his ability to speak would be a similar loss for the smallest Lannister. Those losses forced Jamie and Cersei to evolve, although both have regained some level of what they lost.
Forcing Tyrion to evolve into someone who does not depend on his ability to speak, certainly sounds like an intriguing storyline. But therein lies the most glaring evidence against the theory. Other characters experiencing losses on Game of Thrones, from Jaime to Cersei, to Theon or Bran, have had multiple seasons to evolve afterwards. This late in the story, it seems unlikely that any character, including Tyrion, might experience such a loss.
Of course, anything is possible in Martin’s novels, where there is more room for a character to go on a soul searching journey. With only six episodes left, we might be spared Tyrion’s brutal maiming,but nothing can be ruled out.
More importantly though, how cold is the North? YouTube user Theoretically Empirical uses high brow concepts like fluid dynamics and physics to bring us his guess. The stunning conclusion? The North is really cold.
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