The first episode of Game of Thrones season 7 saw Euron Greyjoy and Cersei Lannister lay the groundwork for a potentially explosive alliance. Despite Euron’s offering of the Iron Fleet (which may or may not consist of the “thousand ships” he ordered built), Cersei remained unconvinced of Euron’s trustworthiness. Undeterred, Euron offered to bring Cersei a “priceless gift” in order to win her over. What might that gift be? A look at Cersei Lannister’s gift registry might give us an idea.
Potential SPOILERS follow, but only if we’re right
When you’re the queen of the Seven Kingdoms (or three, at best), there aren’t many physical gifts on your registry. If you want new jewelry — a new pair of bedazzled shoulder pads, for instance — you have only to ask a servant. That means Euron is off looking for something you can’t buy in stores. And in Westeros, that means someone’s head on a platter. Or in a box.
Cersei has no shortage of enemies she’d like to lock in a basement alongside Septa Unella. But while Euron might be crazy enough to sail straight at Daenerys or to try and kidnap Jon Snow from Winterfell, our guess is he’ll recognize that Cersei would appreciate a much more personal gift — someone who has wronged Cersei in the past, not just someone who wants to take her chair.
As Euron pointed out, many of those who have betrayed Cersei are now serving Daenerys Targaryen, so he’ll very likely go shopping among that lot. Tyrion, the brother Cersei thinks killed her son and actually did kill her father, is at the top of her registry, but given his close proximity to Daenerys (and to Daenerys’ dragons) our guess is that Tyrion remains safe. We’ve seen how wooden ships fare against dragons.
However, wooden ships against other wooden ships is a whole other story. Thanks to HBO’s preview of next week’s episode, “Stormborn,” we know that Theon, Yara, Olenna Tyrell and Ellaria Sand (probably with the Sand Snakes in tow) will join Daenerys on Dragonstone for a meeting. Notice Olenna sitting in the chair with her back to the camera.
But at some point, one or all of them will leave the island to get to conquering, and Daenerys can’t risk sending her dragons along with them — she only has a degree of control over the dragons when they’re near her. That’s where Euron will begin his shopping spree.
Between Ellaria and Olenna, the Dornish contingent seems Euron’s most likely target. For one thing, they’re more likely to be on the front lines of a conflict. Not being a fighter, Olenna will likely stay away from actual battle, but the Sand Snakes will want to charge headlong into danger, leaving them exposed to capture or worse.
Perhaps more importantly, Ellaria and the Sand Snakes are directly responsible for the death of Myrcella, Cersei’s daughter. Olenna might have thwarted Cersei while she was in King’s Landing, but Olenna did not murder any of Cersei’s children (well, she did, but Cersei doesn’t know that). Like any good suitor, Euron will want to give Cersei the gift she wants most: revenge upon the women who murdered her child.
So from Cersei’s perspective, Ellaria and the Sand Snakes are both available and desirable, a shopper’s dream come true. So if we were the Sand Snakes, we’d put our affairs in order, just in case.
